Monday, September 21, 2009

And I cried out!

I don't know if you have given the name of this blog much notice "And They Cried Out". The title was born after reading Psalm 107 on a weekend get away. It resonated so deeply with me because with out my God, I have no hope, only despair. If by chance you haven't read Psalm 107 recently, it's a must read! When you get there, take notice how many times the it says: "and they cried out in their trouble and He saved them from their distress."

Last week was one of crying out to Him in my distress. The week before I found a lump-where no woman wants to find a lump.... Thursday they were able to get me in for a mammogram & ultrasound. Exactly one week of waiting. One week of intense crying out to my Maker. One week of wondering if my life would be altered forever. One week of looking at my husband and children with a heart overflowing in anguish. The night before my tests, I tossed and turned most of the night. I was in one of those "half asleep-half awake" states. Every time I would turnover, I cried out; "Abba, help me, Abba, be with me!"

I got to the hospital a little early and was able to do some reading. I felt directed to go to Romans 8. Honestly, I thought I would probably read Romans 8:28, but my eyes landed on verse 15. "For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, "Abba, Father." My spirit rejoiced with in me! At that moment, I felt the Lord's presence and I knew that He heard my cries. He rescued me from distress, His presence calmed me.

When I say that He rescued me from my distress, I don't mean that I felt a guarantee that they wouldn't find cancer. I mean that I knew whatever they were about to tell me, that He would be with me and that He would sustain me. As it turns out, they did find a mass about 1 1/2 cm and it "appears to be benign". I don't think their too worried about it because they said they want to see me again in FOUR YEARS!

I pray that I don't come across trite; "I don't have cancer, He's a good God, and my life just goes on...." The fact is that He is a good God no matter my circumstance. I am a great sinner, in need of a Savior. Truly, He rescued me from the pit of despair when He called me to Himself. Me, a sinner-separated from a holy God. He lavished me with His forgiveness and grace through His son Jesus Christ! If it weren't for Him, I would be utterly lost and without hope. Today, I have been spared by His great grace. (see Romans 3:23-24)

Our lives on this side of eternity are a mere handbreadth-here today and gone tomorrow. None of us know how long we will have on this earth! King David said, ”Show me, O LORD, my life’s end and the number of my days; let me know how fleeting is my life. You have made my days a mere handbreadth; the span of my years is as nothing before you. Each man’s life is but a breath” (Psalm 39:4-5) I pray that for the rest of my days, however long are short they might be, will be days of making much of my Savior!

Whatever the circumstance you find yourself in today, cry out to Him, He will not disappoint.

*Below is a song that has blessed me much this last week. Enjoy

Until next time,


1 comment:

Heather said...

Wow! Thanks for letting us have a peek into what has been going on. That is serious stuff but I am so thrilled to see your testimony that God is God no matter the outcome!
You have a beautiful family, by the way!